It’s a strange twist in life that when faced with the chaos, shock, and upheaval of a loss, we have to be at our most organized: planning a funeral.
This may seem daunting, but it’s possible to make the experience stress-free. And you may find comfort in the time you spend lovingly wrapping up all those memories into one beautiful last goodbye.
To help you through this stage, we’ve put together this funeral planning checklist. Here, we’ve covered everything you need to do from the moment you begin to deal with the after-funeral tasks.
For most of us, the death of someone close is often a surprise. So we aren’t prepared for what comes next. And one of the biggest and most unwelcome challenges is budgeting for the funeral. In 2022, the average funeral was around $7500.
Your first step to handling the financial side is understanding the costs and setting a budget. The expenses will vary depending on your choices during funeral planning, so keep that in mind.
It’s worth noting that some funeral homes offer payment plans and financial assistance. Tax-wise, funeral costs aren’t tax deductible. However, you can deduct them from the estate during probate if it’s mentioned in the will.
Some people choose to pre-pay for their own funeral. It’s a good idea because it means you pay today’s prices and avoid future inflation. But you’ll need to know what you want if you make this financial commitment.
The funeral you choose is a personal decision. Will it be cremation or burial, or perhaps something else? Religious or cultural beliefs may shape it. Or it could be a simple personal preference.
Nevertheless, it’s essential to know the choices available as you must decide on a funeral type before progressing with your planning.
A more traditional funeral often involves a viewing followed by a formal service. The casket is then transported to a cemetery, burial, or entombment.
Cremation is growing in popularity. Compared to traditional funerals, it’s lower cost and flexible. After cremation, you can scatter or keep the ashes or place the ashes in a columbarium.
As the name implies, these funerals offer a more environmentally-friendly choice. It could include biodegradable caskets. It may consist of a tree-planting ceremony at a green burial ground.
Home funerals involve caring for the deceased in the family home. Some people choose this as a more personalized or intimate option.
Memorial services happen after the burial or cremation. These are formal gatherings designed to celebrate and remember the deceased’s life.
All these funeral types are unique. All offer the chance to create something personal for your loved one that matches their final wishes.
Your next step is to choose a funeral home. You’ll have various options, each with different pricing and services. This means you must compare like with like when creating a shortlist. Check for services such as:
The last one is important because you must make the funeral convenient for the attendees.
You should also check the funeral home as all official licenses. Take time to get a feel for their services by reading reviews and testimonials.
When you’re ready to speak to home, ask them for a breakdown of their costs. They should be able to give you transparent itemized pricing so you know what services you’re getting for that cost.
You’ll need to decide how the funeral home prepares the body. That will include embalming, dressing, and the choice of casket. You don’t always need to opt for embalming unless you choose an open-casket service.
Attire is a very individual choice. You can opt for traditional, formal clothes such as suits. Or something more informal and personal.
You’ll also find a wide variety of casket options. Given a choice, it’s worth having a browse before you meet with the funeral home to help you narrow your decision.
If you choose a cremation, you must decide what to do with the ashes.
Planning the service is often some comfort to those mourning. It’s a chance to reflect on a deceased’s life and create something to honor them.
First, write your invitation list. Consider family, friends, and co-workers. Speak to close friends and family of the deceased for recommendations too.
You’ll allow need to decide who will speak at the service. You could choose a family member or religious leader. You’ll want someone who feels comfortable with the challenge. Public speaking at such an emotional event isn’t for everyone.
Spend time choosing music for the event. Think about the deceased taste. Aim for a spectrum of music styles – explore different genres. You must also consider religious music if that’s part of the ceremony.
The funeral director can often provide helpful recommendations on music, too, based on their extensive experience.
An obituary is your chance to tell a story about that person’s life. It doesn’t have to be chronological; you can write it in a way that best fits the deceased’s life and personality.
Remember, many attendees will only have a snapshot of that person’s life—one jigsaw piece in the entire puzzle. The obituary is an opportunity for you to paint the complete picture.
You’ll also need a public announcement about the death. It will generally include the full name, age, where they lived, and the time and place of death. Most importantly, it will consist of the time and location of the funeral service.
If you’re planning a burial, you must purchase a cemetery plot. Costs will depend on the cemetery, the location within the site, and the plot size.
For cremation, you can choose a columbarium for the ashes. This is a small, secure space within a mausoleum. As with cemeteries, the cost will depend on the location.
Always check whether you’ll incur ongoing maintenance costs for the final resting place. If so, you’ll need to factor that into the price.
The reception is the chance to share memories and find comfort. And most importantly, celebrate the life of the one you have lost. Focus on the location first when choosing a venue.
You will need it to be near the location of the service. You could choose a funeral home or a family home. Or you could rent a space in a hotel or hall.
You should also cater for the reception and will need to get quotes from local caterers unless you prefer to cater for the event yourself.
Don’t forget to write the invitation list. You may invite a larger gathering than you do for the funeral service. Or you may prefer to keep it small and intimate.
When planning a funeral, you’re also faced with the emotional rollercoaster of grief. While you may find some comfort in planning that final goodbye, it may also prove emotionally difficult.
Remember to give yourself time to handle the process. Grief is normal, and when it hits, it’s okay to step back from the planning. Reach out to friends and family for support, too.
Many people will be happy to offer practical help for funeral planning when they see that you are grieving. Remember that grief is different for all of us.
Sometimes that means it’s hard for families to agree on the small print for a funeral, which can create tension. When that happens, allow the funeral director to provide mediation and guidance so you can move forward.
If you need to use the estate to finance the funeral, you might do the will reading early. A well-prepared will should cover this, plus the distribution of assets and settling debts. In the absence of a will, you’ll need to turn to state laws for guidance.
Always contact a legal expert to help navigate the complexities when writing a will. It will help ensure your loved ones honor your final wishes and will help avoid disputes.
You’ll also need to notify third parties about the death during this time.
That includes closing bank accounts, house sales, insurance, and other paperwork. Make a list of all the accounts and companies the deceased dealt with, and work through these one by one.
Don’t fear funeral planning. The easiest way to handle an upcoming funeral is to take the tasks one step at a time. Don’t forget to seek help from friends and family; use this guide as your checklist.
If you are planning a cremation, look at Lone Star and what we offer. Our easy online packages will take the stress and complexity of funeral planning in Forth Worth away from you.
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