Losing people we love alters our lives in pretty difficult ways.
For many, the pain can be overwhelming. They may wonder how they’re supposed to pick up the pieces and go on with their lives when the person left a gaping hole.
And then there’s this “healthy grieving” thing that everyone talks about. Of course, it’s easy to talk about when you’re not in the middle of it. It’s a good idea, and you want to be able to grieve in a healthy way.
But how can you, when the world feels like it came to a screeching halt and all you want to do is go back?
If this is you, first of all, we’re truly sorry for your loss. Processing death can be so difficult, and we want to help you along the way.
Below, we’ve compiled 7 tips for processing death. Read on to learn more.
If other people around you are affected by the loss as well, you might feel as if you need to put on a brave face for them.
You might not want to acknowledge what you feel, because that means you’ll have to face the pain of it.
However, allowing yourself to recognize what you are feeling allows you to give it a name: grief. It might help you feel that feeling this way is normal. It’s a natural response to what is happening.
If you’re feeling like you need to be strong for someone, know that grief is not weakness. Instead, it’s a sign you had someone good in your life who you loved very much. There is no shame in grieving them.
Encourage other people to acknowledge what they’re feeling as well, especially if there are children impacted by the loss.
Children who have not experienced much loss before may need some extra help in processing their emotions. Encourage them to identify and express their emotions and help them by doing the same with yours.
There are five different stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial is the insistence that something which has happened has not occurred. When this happens, think of it as your brain giving you the space to absorb the shock of the loss.
In grief, people become angry when the pain needs an outlet. It feels easier to project emotions onto something or someone else.
Bargaining usually takes the form of “If…then….” thoughts. For instance, you might think “If I had just talked to them, this might not have happened.”
Depression is when you are feeling the full heaviness of the loss. It’s normal to feel sad when you lose someone. Yet, if you start feeling as if your life has no meaning, please see a mental health professional.
Acceptance might come slowly, but it will come. You will know you’re in it once you’ve started to live your new way of life and found some shreds of fulfillment in it.
People may experience these symptoms in any order, and there’s no shame in feeling any of them. They are a natural part of loss.
Community is so important in times of grief. Sometimes, our friends hold us up even when we feel as if we are buckling.
Choose some trusted friends to talk to during this time. Having people around you who are processing the grief with you can be very good for you. It reminds you that even though the path is difficult, you are not walking it alone.
We also recommend you see a grief counselor during this time. Since everyone grieves differently, there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution, nor should there be. However, a good grief counselor will listen to your story and help you with processing death.
They will be in your corner. In addition, you will be able to take comfort in the fact that no matter what, you have a regular place to talk to someone.
Moving on after a death can feel wrong. When you’ve lost a prominent part of your life, it might not feel right to go on with your life without them.
That’s an okay thing to feel. In fact, it’s normal.
And yet, it’s important to start doing things you love again. Doing things that bring you bits of happiness will remind you that your life isn’t narrowed to this one event, even if it’s deeply impacted by it.
You don’t have to do big things. If meeting up with your social group feels like too much, try listening to a favorite song or doing a hobby. Get out and enjoy nature and the sunshine, or take it upon yourself to explore.
During a time of grief, it’s important to take the time to care for yourself.
Self-care can look like a lot of things. Sometimes, it’s a warm bath or time with a friend. Other times, it’s eating and sleeping well and exercising.
If you’re having a hard time wanting to cook or eat, focus on low stress, easy meals that are packed with nutrition. For people who think the house is too quiet, try turning on the TV or radio.
As soon as you feel up to it, start making plans with other people. This will fill your time and give you something to look forward to. It also helps you remain in touch with your community.
This doesn’t necessarily mean adopting a religious belief or changing faiths.
However, it helps to reflect on and ground yourself in your beliefs. For some people, this takes the form of prayer, meditation, or a spiritual practice. For others, it’s a more philosophical pursuit.
No matter what you do, locate the core of who you are and what you believe. Think about the things you want to accomplish and focus on how you want to make the world a better place.
Maybe you want to comfort other people in grief, write a book, or get involved in a charity. Regardless of what it is, get started.
Processing death can be hard, especially when the days immediately surrounding the death are so hectic with funeral planning.
There are so many things to plan and think about that dealing with grief is difficult.
We can help. Here at Lone Star Cremation, we’ve simplified the process of arranging for a cremation so you can focus on what’s important: taking care of yourself and those around you.
Contact us today for more information!
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